By Phoenix Song
“You did what to Snape’s shampoo?”
Pettigrew squeaked loudly, and James and Sirius burst into uncontrolled
“Well, he’s always been a greasy git,” Sirius said, snickering and sitting
down on his bed.
“Now he’ll just look the part,” James added. He grabbed his comb and ran
it quickly through his hair.
Peter laughed merrily, and then looked around the room in concern. “Has anyone
seen my wand?” he asked.
Sirius pulled on his socks, and then grinned at James. “I’m just sad that we
couldn’t figure out a way to make it permanent,” he said, shaking his head
“Still, it’ll last for at least 30 years, that’s not too bad,” James
responded, trying to pull a sweater over his head. The sweater got caught on his
glasses, and when his head finally emerged from the top, his hair was standing
on end again. “Anyway, Petey, didn’t you leave your wand by that—what’s
it called, lava lamp?—of yours last night?”
“Aren’t you at all concerned about what Lily will think when she finds out
what you did?” Remus queried mildly, smiling at his two friends.
Peter whirled around and checked his nightstand. “No, it’s not there,” he
said, crawling under the bed so that only a pair of legs remained visible. “I
don’t think it’s under here, either. Are you sure none of you has seen
it?” his muffled voice added.
Sirius reached under his pillow and pulled out Peter's wand, twirling it in his
fingers as he answered. “Nope, sorry, Petey,” he said, winking at James and
Remus. James quickly disguised the laugh that followed as a cough.
“Lily won’t think anything,” James continued, “because she won’t find
Remus shook his head, but he was chuckling quietly. “You don’t think
she’ll know you were responsible?” he asked skeptically.
“No,” James answered, pulling on his robes. “She’ll know we were
responsible. She just won’t be able to prove it, and without proof—she
won’t accuse me! It’s brilliant, really, the way that works out!”
“You’re unbelievable,” Remus said.
Sirius quickly hid the wand back underneath his pillow as Peter’s head
appeared once again. “Well, it wasn’t under there,” he said, standing up
and brushing the dirt off of his robes. He walked over to his desk, and began
shuffling through the books that were sitting on top of it. “A Beginners Guide
to Flobberworms”, “Werewolves and the Women Who Love Them”, and “Seeing
is Believing: Cassandra Trelawney’s Guide to Opening Your Inner Eye” each
hit the floor in turn before Peter slumped down onto his bed with a wail. Remus,
Sirius, and James all watched him, and then rolled their eyes in unison before
turning their attention back to the conversation at hand as Peter stood up and
began shaking out his bedclothes frantically.
“You’re wrong, Remmy” Sirius said, a hint of sadness in his voice.
“Unbelievable would have been if we had found a potion that would make him
BALD for the next 30 years. We had to settle for greasy.”
Remus laughed. “Now, don’t get too discouraged,” he said, as James hung
his head dejectedly. “You may find a potion for baldness yet.”
James’s expression brightened considerably at this suggestion. “Now that’s
thinking, mate,” he said happily. “And you wonder why we keep you in the
“It’s not HERE!” Peter interrupted them, flopping once again onto the bed.
“Are you guys certain that you haven’t seen it?”
“Hang on, mate,” Sirius said, grinning mischievously. “I have an idea! Why
don’t you go down to the Hufflepuff common room, and see if you can’t find
Sybill. I hear that she got her first crystal ball for Christmas this year.
Maybe she could help you ‘see’ where it is!”
Peter glared angrily at Sirius, looking almost near tears. “It isn’t funny,
Sirius! My dad’ll kill me if I tell him that I’ve lost my wand again.”
“Oh, go on, Petey,” James said, “don’t be so dramatic. Your dad won’t
“Indeed,” Sirius said, nodding seriously. “The most he’ll do is hex you
until you’re black and blue. He doesn’t want to end up in Azkaban you
James agreed with Sirius before both turned concerned eyes back to Peter.
“Anyway, we’re going to be late for breakfast, so we’d better get
going,” Sirius said, standing up, and straightening his Gryffindor tie.
“Lily will be waiting for James.”
Sirius, Remus and Peter all made goo-goo eyes, and started laughing as James
blushed slightly. “You’re all just jealous,” he said, following Peter out
the door. Once Remus had emerged behind them, they turned to wait for Sirius,
who came out a moment later.
“Good news, Pete,” Sirius said, reaching into his robes and pulling out
Peter’s wand. “I found it.”
Peter’s eyes lit up in relief. “Where was it?” he asked as James and Remus
both burst into laughter.
“Strangest thing,” Sirius said, eyes wide with innocence, “somehow, it
ended up underneath my pillow. You really should be more careful with it!”
Remus, James and Sirius all bounded quickly down the stairs, Peter’s whine of
“it’s not funny” echoing after them.