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Excerpts

Books 1 & 2

    Here is a list of over 100 excerpts from books 1-5 that we thought were amusing, helpful, or illustrated an important theme in the books.

Book 1  |  Book 2  |  Book 3  |  Book 4  |  Book 5

Book 1
"So light a fire!" Harry choked.
"Yes...of course...but there's no wood!" Hermione cried wringing her hands.
"HAVE YOU GONE MAD!" Ron bellowed, "ARE YOU A WITCH OR NOT!"

Everybody finished the song at different times. At last, only the Weasley twins were left singing along to a very slow funeral march.

I can teach you how to bottle fame, brew glory, even stopper death--if you aren't as big a bunch of dunderheads as I usually have to teach.
-Snape

I tell you, that dragon is the most horrible creature I've ever met, but the way Hagrid goes about it you'd think it was a fluffy little bunny rabbit. When it bit me, he told me off for frightening it. And when I left he was singing it a lullaby.
-Ron

I will only truly have left this school when none here are loyal to me...help will always be given at Hogwarts to those who ask for it.
-Dumbledore

I believe misters Fred and George Weasley were responsible for trying to send you a toilet seat. No doubt they thought it would amuse you.
-Dumbledore

I hope you're pleased with yourselves. We could have been killed--or worse, expelled!
-Hermione

Stalagmites got an 'm' in it an' don' ask me questions just now I think I'm gonna be sick
– Hagrid

We’ll send you a Hogwarts toilet seat.
– George

Welcome! Welcome to a new year at Hogwarts! Before we begin our banquet I would like to say a few words. And here they are: Nitwit! Blubber! Odmen! Tweak!
– Dumbledore

Yer' great puddin' of a son don' need fattenin' no more, Dursley, don' worry.
-Hagrid

Your mother died to save you. If there is one thing Voldemort can't understand, it's love.
-Dumbledore

"I don't need a cloak to become invisible."
-Dumbledore

Book 2
"You're alive," she said blankly to Harry.
"There's no need to sound so disappointed," he said grimly, wiping flecks of blood and slime off his glasses.
"Oh, well...I'd just been thinking...if you had died, you'd have been welcome to share my toilet," said Myrtle, blushing silver.

Fred and George, however, found all this very funny. They went out of their way to march ahead of Harry down the corridors, shouting, "Make way for the Heir of Slytherin, seriously evil wizard coming through. . ."

"Hearing voices no one else can hear isn't a good sign, even in the wizarding world."
-Ron

"Haven't I already told you that killing Mudbloods doesn't matter to me any more? For many months now, my new target has been -- you."
-Tom Riddle

"Voldemort...is my past, present and future..."
-Tom Riddle

The first words out of those poor petrified people's mouths will be 'It was Hagrid.' Frankly, I'm astounded Professor McGonagall thinks all these security measures are necessary.
-Lockhart

'I seem to remember telling you both that I would have to expel you if you broke any more school rules,' said Dumbledore. Ron opened his mouth in horror. 'Which goes to show that the best of us must sometimes eat our words,' Dumbledore went on, smiling.

"I still don't like your tone boy. If you can speak of your beatings in that casual way, they clearly aren't hitting you hard enough. Petunia I'd write if I where you. Make it clear that you approve the use of extreme force in this boy's case."
-Aunt Marge

"Good day yourself, Mister Malfoy, and if the stories are true, you haven't sold me half of what's hidden in your manor..."
-Mr. Borgin

"Wait till everyone finds out you've got a tail!"
-Moaning Myrtle

"His eyes are as green as a fresh pickled toad, His hair is as dark as a blackboard. I wish he was mine, he's really divine, The hero who conquered the Dark Lord."
-Valentine from Ginny

Lockhart'll sign anything if it stands still long enough.
-Ron

Never trust anything that can think for itself, if you can't see where it keeps it's brain.
-Mr. Weasley

We had to write about our hero at school Mr. Mason, I wrote about you.
-Dudley

Half an inch of skin and sinew holding my neck on, Harry! Most people would think that's good as beheaded, but oh, no, it's not enough for Sir Properly Decapitated-Podmore.
-Nearly Headless Nick

Harry learned quickly not to feel to sorry for the gnomes. He decided to just drop the first one just over the hedge, but the gnome, sensing weakness, sank his razor sharp teeth into Harry's finger and he had a hard job shaking it off until- 'Wow, Harry-that must have been fifty feet.'